2025-04-09_a trans* sense

i don’t fully know if (mostly well-meaning) cis people that don’t interact with non-binary people often can feel the tip-toeing they do (on a linguistic level) when around m(e). it might be that they’re too much in the midst of it that they can’t step back and see/feel it from a bit of a distance. but i can. we both notice when clear misgendering happens and either they react and try to correct themselves (usually with help) or i correct them. but i don’t know if they sense the potential as i do / as quickly as i do when certain sentences are started and grammatically go in a certain direction. and in most cases it’s very difficult to ask without a certain level of trust that the direct breaking of the dynamic / the game will be received. not even necessarily positively or negatively, but received in a way that doesn’t completely overwhelm them. because that’s what it feel like would happen if i excavated the tension so directly.